From Happiness to Depression
At the start of the day,i was feeling quite happy as school started at 11am.Boarded bus 8 only after 5 minutes of waiting and reached school at exactly 11am.Everything went smoothly which involves daydreaming during SAS lecture.Then went to Mensa 2 and ate chicken cutlet rice and honeydew sago.Lunch was great then went for POM lecture.This lecturer is very good at keeping our interest high,which made the lecture interesting.Didn't feel like sleeping at all during the lecture.Looking forward to seeing him again next week,though it might be the last.After the lecture,went to the library to discuss SAS project,then sat around for a while before going for EBM.
This is where everything starts to go wrong.Couldn't find the tutor in silicon studios,so we went to the staff room to look for her.Knocking on the door was pointless as there didn't seem to be anyone inside,which we tried anyway.But no one came.So Ben called tutor on jeff's phone.After much miscommunication(which will not be described as i'm trying to keep my discontentment to a minimum),we realised that she(can be replaced with another word,but trying to keep my cool) was in the staff room.So we followed to some chairs outisde the staff room to begin the consultation.As we had no means of contacting Ken,who is our group member,we started without him.
The whole session was torturous,one reason is being under the sun=.= Initially we wanted to ask her if the fila chart that we had done was correct.But suprisingly enough,instead of looking through our fila chart or something,she asked us questions instead.There were many minutes of 'i stare you, you stare me' which was very uncomfortable due to the blue eye shadow which is plain disgusting on someonre like her.Questions asked were either answered with more questions or nonsense which does not answer the question.Best thing that was found out was that presentation was next Monday.GREAT! Up to now,i still don't really know what we are supposed to do and presentation is next week=.= Now isn't that the best? 'Thanked' her and went to silicon lab to print the fila chart for everyone.Having that session was really useless,unless knowing about the presentation was really that useful.
Walked home instead of taking the bus due to the bustop filled with faggots who liked to smoke near the place where people board the bus.Walked all the way with my head held low thinking of many questions and answers.Why do i have this feeling that i'm getting more and more useless by the moment?I can't seem to contribute much to projects as ideas do not seem to want to form in my head.Most of the time i'm just thinking about stuff that would make me more unhappy and worried.In the past,i was very clear of what i was doing and what i need to do.But now,everything seems like a blur and i do not know what i am doing.Saw several things that set me thinking much more deeply and of the future.For my own sake,i will keep those thoughts to myself and no one else.
i'm really sick of thinking as most of these thoughts are questions to myself.And i will be answering these questions as well as asking the questions.So these kind of 'conversation' starts in my mind which would normally make me worry about things.At the end of all these,i will tell myself,why the hell am i talking to myself.On doing that,it would be another question to myself,which would be talking to myself again.This can go on and on until my brain dies.Thinking so much will actually do more harm than good,which would eventually lead to insanity,at least that's what i think.
The above 2 paragraphs were more towards getting stuff out of my head,otherwise my brain would explode with thoughts.Trying to do microecons and principles of management tutorial right now,but i know that i will not be able to finish anyway.
This is where everything starts to go wrong.Couldn't find the tutor in silicon studios,so we went to the staff room to look for her.Knocking on the door was pointless as there didn't seem to be anyone inside,which we tried anyway.But no one came.So Ben called tutor on jeff's phone.After much miscommunication(which will not be described as i'm trying to keep my discontentment to a minimum),we realised that she(can be replaced with another word,but trying to keep my cool) was in the staff room.So we followed to some chairs outisde the staff room to begin the consultation.As we had no means of contacting Ken,who is our group member,we started without him.
The whole session was torturous,one reason is being under the sun=.= Initially we wanted to ask her if the fila chart that we had done was correct.But suprisingly enough,instead of looking through our fila chart or something,she asked us questions instead.There were many minutes of 'i stare you, you stare me' which was very uncomfortable due to the blue eye shadow which is plain disgusting on someonre like her.Questions asked were either answered with more questions or nonsense which does not answer the question.Best thing that was found out was that presentation was next Monday.GREAT! Up to now,i still don't really know what we are supposed to do and presentation is next week=.= Now isn't that the best? 'Thanked' her and went to silicon lab to print the fila chart for everyone.Having that session was really useless,unless knowing about the presentation was really that useful.
Walked home instead of taking the bus due to the bustop filled with faggots who liked to smoke near the place where people board the bus.Walked all the way with my head held low thinking of many questions and answers.Why do i have this feeling that i'm getting more and more useless by the moment?I can't seem to contribute much to projects as ideas do not seem to want to form in my head.Most of the time i'm just thinking about stuff that would make me more unhappy and worried.In the past,i was very clear of what i was doing and what i need to do.But now,everything seems like a blur and i do not know what i am doing.Saw several things that set me thinking much more deeply and of the future.For my own sake,i will keep those thoughts to myself and no one else.
i'm really sick of thinking as most of these thoughts are questions to myself.And i will be answering these questions as well as asking the questions.So these kind of 'conversation' starts in my mind which would normally make me worry about things.At the end of all these,i will tell myself,why the hell am i talking to myself.On doing that,it would be another question to myself,which would be talking to myself again.This can go on and on until my brain dies.Thinking so much will actually do more harm than good,which would eventually lead to insanity,at least that's what i think.
The above 2 paragraphs were more towards getting stuff out of my head,otherwise my brain would explode with thoughts.Trying to do microecons and principles of management tutorial right now,but i know that i will not be able to finish anyway.
posted by Ken at
8:15 PM
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