Black Friday?

Today is Friday the 13th. So what.

Am i suffering from intermittent depression?

Sometimes i'm happy, and sometimes i'm sad. REALLY sad. I wonder about life, and its meanings and purposes.

What is my goal in life? Is life meaningless without a goal? Wandering about living day by day? Why do i not have a goal in life? Without a goal, there would be no motivation. Without motivation, there is no purpose. Without purpose, what is life?

Many people have a goal in life. I've seen a few people who aspire to become doctors. A doctor who treats cancer patients and a dentist. I've also met someone who aspire to open his own chain of business, which is LAN gaming shops. It might not be something big, but hey, he has a goal.A path to walk. A direction.

I'm really envious of people who has goals in life. They know what they want. They might know or might not know how to get what they want. But they DO in fact KNOW what they want. I, on the other hand, do not know what i want. I do not know my goal in life. I do not know what my future is.

Some people have big dreams. And they are not able to fulfil their dreams because of obstacles. Be it physical or mental obstacle. It might be due to not having any chances or opportunities. I cannot say the same for myself. Even if the opportunity is sitting right in front of me, waiting for me to grasp it, i can't. It's because i do not know what i want.

Some people have big dreams, and are on their way to achieving it. We do not know if they will succeed. But they are already on their way. They are already on their journey to fulfilling their dreams. They have a direction. A goal. While i don't.

Someone whom to me is a great example is SunMi from Wonder Girls. In one of the episodes of MTV Wonder Girls Season 1, JYP, their producer, asked SunMi how big is her dream. She said that her dream is the world. She wants to be the best in the world. She said that she don't know if that would actually happen, but she wants to go out and try. JYP then told her that it would be very hard, and the sacrifices that she would have to make. And SunMi cried.(I nearly cried too) She was afraid that she would not be able to achieve her dream of becoming the best. Yes, it is very difficult, and might even seem impossible. But she dares to dream. She is still working hard on achieving her dream. Even though she has been sick throughout her trip in Singapore and Los Angeles, she did not give up. JYP asked them to dream big.

And here i am thinking, is that the reason why i like SunMi so much? She has a big dream, while i do not. People say that opposites attract. Is that possible? But then again, what i really like about SunMi is her personality. Her bright, dorky and adorable self really attracts me. Like what JYP said, you cannot tell that there is a dark side to her due to her cheerfulness and brightness. But no matter what, i'll support her dream of becoming the best in the world. Even if she does not make it, it is the experience that is valuable and make her grow. And another issue arise in my head. What actually defines whether she has become the best? I guess that's really in people's heart, and not measured by being 'number 1' in the US or such.

From i don't know what kind of feeling to SunMi, i think i'm really weird. Though i don't really show it, i really think a lot, be it logical stuff, imagination, worries of the future, Life, and plenty of other things. And just to remind myself, the next post will be something that is related to the novel/movie Ink Heart.

I've been wanting to express my views on Life for a long time, but everytime i have that feeling to do so, it would be on a dark and gloomy day, or when i'm at the back of my dad's lorry. By the time i want to write it down, the feeling's gone. Till then, i'll try to stay happy. Life is too short to feel sad.